When I Was Your Girlfriend by Nikki Harmon

Publisher/Date:  Mt. Airy Girl Press; Jan. 2016
Genre:  Romance
Pages: 214
Website:  http://mtairygirlpress.weebly.com/

Rating: ★★★★½ 

How can you be sure that your first love wasn’t your true love? Dee Armstrong leads a seemingly charmed life. She has a successful midwifery practice, a supportive family, and an exciting romantic life. But when Dee mistakenly believes she will have to confront her first love and first heartbreak, Candace, it sends her tumbling back into her memories to re-live the terrifying and exhilarating joy of being a teenager in love … with another girl. Suddenly convinced that Candace was her one true love, Dee sets off on a tumultuous cross country journey to find her in hopes of renewing their relationship. Her quest leads to some serious soul searching and the realization that maybe love wasn’t the only thing that she lost all those years ago.

WHEN I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND by Nikki Harmon is a rich romance tinged with nostalgia, a refreshing story about a woman looking for her first love.

Dee Armstrong recognizes the good things in her life: a rewarding career as a midwife in a thriving Philadelphia practice; co-workers and clients she adores; family and friends who provide support and pull no punches when it comes to advice.

The only thing to give Dee pause is her girlfriend, Pepper. While Pepper is primed to take their relationship to the next level after six months, Dee is not sure this is where she wants to be. This hesitancy gives way to thinking about all the women she’s been with, and the only one woman that she could ever say she was in love with: her high school sweetheart, Candace.

For 31-year-old Dee, high school was a while ago. Thoughts about a woman whom you haven’t talked to since breaking up in your senior year would be just that: notions about where she is now, whether she’s married or single, or has children; if she ever thinks about you after all this time. Yet Dee takes this to a new level and tries to track down the one who got away. Interspersed with this journey to the past that includes a road trip, cross-country flights and internet detective work, Dee is reliving the rise and fall of her young love with Candace, a dimension that adds depth to the story.

I really enjoyed this jaunt Harmon took me on with Dee because she’s a likable character, even when she’s being a little selfish and a tad presumptuous in her love scavenger hunt. Ultimately, she has a great heart, and her friends, Viv especially, made this book so easy to fall into. I also loved the inside look Harmon offers in Dee’s occupation as a midwife, how passionate she is about her patients and the new lives she facilitates into the world.

The biggest part of this story – the mystery of Candace – is what I gravitated toward. I mean, there are times when I was cautious about what she would find, but I had to know, just like Dee, what happened to her former love.

Harmon’s writing is well done; her descriptions of Philadelphia (or wherever else Dee landed), made me feel as if I were there. However, I feel the pacing of the novel could be better; at times there are big jumps from days to weeks that seemed a little incongruent. There was also one plotline involving one of her clients that could have been left out because it added nothing to the story. As far as the ending, all I can say is I’m happy, but I wonder what will happen next.

When I Was Your Girlfriend is a romance I indulged myself in over a weekend because who doesn’t want to know where her first love is? Read this story, and it just might make you look her up on Facebook. Just maybe.

Reviewed April 2016

Read the Sistahs Pick Interview with Nikki Harmon

Turn Me Out: The Novel by T. Ariez

Publisher/Date:  Amazon Digital Services LLC, March 2016
Genre(s):  Stud 4 Stud, Romance
Pages:  199
Website:  https://www.facebook.com/T.Ariez3

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Angel and Ace are best friends who happen to both be studs. When Angel realizes that she has developed feelings for Ace, she devises a plan that will go against everything she’s ever known and believed in. She is tired of the traditions and rules that make her feelings taboo and decides to risk everything. When she finally decides that she can’t take it anymore and throws caution in the wind, will it all be worth the risk?

In 2013, T. Ariez’s short story, Turn Me Out, introduced studs Angel and Ace who found themselves in the precarious situation of being attracted to one another. Two studs in lust? Where they do that at? Though it’s oftentimes inconceivable in our black lesbian community, Ariez made the romance between two best friends believable through her writing and characters in such a brief tale.

Fast forward to 2016, and T. Ariez has expanded her earlier quickie into TURN ME OUT: THE NOVEL, and this version is meatier than I imagined it would be. It broke me in several places. The novel pretty much follows the same basic premise as the short story, but focuses more on the “where do we go from here” aspect and explores Angel and Ace becoming a couple. This is where shit gets real.

Now I’m not a stud. So I don’t fully understand what it’s like be a masculine woman in a man’s world.

But it’s hard not to empathize with Angel as she contemplates her feelings for Ace, who’s as hard as they come. We’re in her head as Angel as she grapples with being in love with her best friend, the person who showed her the ropes of stud life and sheltered her during their teenage years. The lengths she goes through to tell Ace how she feels are real and moving and hard to read at times, but the affection they have for each other is hard-fought and raw. Their love scenes were some of the hottest because of this masculine, loving vibe between them.

My biggest concern, though, was how Angel felt she had change herself to what Ace wanted. Ace, Ace, Ace. It was all I could take not to slam her hand in a car door, mostly because of how she dealt with loving Angel. Her hangups, based on what people would think, about loving another stud were going to be the death of her friendship; I just wanted her to wake up and see what was in front of her. Ace was also spoiled, a stud used to bedding a different femme almost every night, and being in love was something she envisioned as a last resort. Until Angel.

I was so invested in Turn Me Out: The Novel. The resolution Ace comes to, and the fight Angel goes through to prove her love, is what makes this book special. I hope this book will help our community let go of the rigid stereotypes we place on each other and ourselves.

T. Ariez, I’m ready for the next one.

Reviewed March 2016

Pit Crew: How to Survive a Spiritual Pit Stop by Renair Amin

Publisher/Date:  Glover Lane Press, Dec. 2012
Genre(s):  Lesbian Real Life, How to Guide
Pages:  98
Website:  http://www.renairamin.com

Rating: ★★★★½ 

PIT CREW: HOW TO SURVIVE A SPIRITUAL PIT STOP, is both author Renair Amin’s testimony and a gift to anyone struggling with life and its many bumps along the way.

Her life saw tragedies of rape, a miscarriage, and family loss. She experienced being institutionalized, homeless and on drugs. Enduring what she felt God unjustly thrust upon her, Amin started taking stock and realized everything is a pattern, a track so to speak. And instead of letting life keep taking her around and around in confusion, she knew she needed support to get her life back in stride.

Hence the Pit Crew. Crafted from the Disney/Pixar animated movie Cars, Amin’s book revolves around the concept needing a set of trusted people in your life to fix you, uplift you, and check you when you need it.  Simply put, nobody can do this life alone, and Amin gives you the tools to see who’s important to your journey.

Amin explains the roles your pit crew plays – from the Crew Chief (God), the Car Chief, the Jackman, the Tire Changers/Carriers, the Gas Man and Utility Man – each one has a special role, and all work together to make you better. Her model doesn’t absolve you of personal responsibility, though. You are ultimately in the driver’s seat, and the decisions you make – especially whom you allow in your Pit Crew – is all on you. She emphasizes this with the thoughtful questions for discussion at the end of each Pit Crew description. You have to do the work. Also, learn to be still and learn your life lessons.

Amin, a minister, motivational speaker, and  life coach, writes with honesty and a desire to help women winding around a never-ending track with no finish line in sight. There is a never a time we won’t have issues in our lives, problems in our relationships and troubles on our jobs, but Amin’s book makes the bumps easier. Her own story, as a catalyst to writing this book, is poignant. I admire her courage share this story – her story – with the world.

Thank you, Renair.

Reviewed June 2013

Read the Catching Up With… Interview with Renair Amin

Girl in the Mirror by Alix B. Golden (Aug. 2012 Pick of the Month)

Publisher/Date:  I Bleed Ink Publishing, Aug. 2012
Genre:  Romance
Pages:   204
Website:  http://www.alixbgolden.com

Rating: ★★★★½ 

You can’t run from your past, and you certainly can’t run from the GIRL IN THE MIRROR.

While the prequel to this novel, Girl, Shattered, is available now, Mirror is its full-length story from blogger turned book author Alix B. Golden with many layers – a surprise love, suspense, drama, parental woes – yet the center of them is Christen Calhoun. The by-day bank teller is uninspired by her job and only finds comfort in her camera; it doesn’t pay the bills, and it doesn’t suit her father’s dreams for her.

Neither does dating women. Especially the ones Christen involves herself with. Still reeling from her last burn with thieving ass Alicia, she decides a no-strings attached relationship is exactly what she needs in Kam, a writer she meets online with a girlfriend. Christen sees nothing wrong with the two having a fling. At least that’s how it begins. It ends just as badly.

*girl in the mirror shakes her head*

Christen could never tell her Pops about these dead-end hookups. Since a young girl, it’s always been just the two of them after her mother’s passing. He never understood her decisions – staying in Savannah after graduation instead of returning to Atlanta, why she couldn’t find a man and make him a “Grandpappy” – nevertheless he did want to see her happy.

The problem is Christen can’t please herself. She suits her personality to the women she dates, and every bad romance she gets her further away from whom she is. When she looks in the mirror, the truth stares back, but then loneliness sets in and fools her heart into thinking it’s love.

It’s only when the worst imaginable happens that Christen returns home to find the love she needs – and makes the girl in mirror finally smile back.

Golden’s Girl in the Mirror shines. What I liked most about Mirror is its dimensionality. The storyline took several twists and turns, tying nicely to make an enjoyable novel. In Christen, you see a woman with so much potential go from settling to avoid being alone to realizing her true reflection is what’s important.

Reviewed August 2012

Jazzy Ladies Productions by Ericka K. F. Simpson

Publisher/Date:  Xlibris Corp., Dec. 2011
Genre(s):  Romance, Suspense
Pages:  576
Website:  http://www.ekfsimpson.com

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Remember Alice’s much-hyped chart used on The L Word to graph relationships between her friends and the women they knew?

In reading Ericka K. F. Simpson’s latest novel, JAZZY LADIES PRODUCTIONS: NOTHING IS AS SWEET AS IT LOOKS, it needs its own chart to keep up with all the characters and storylines.

And you will want to track every single hookup or association in Simpson’s ambitious work, cause it’s just that engrossing.

First, begin with Dionne, an open mic poet who has several female admirers and desires a real relationship; her best friend, Vincent, a hardcore playboy who can’t give up the women even for the one he really wants; and Dionne’s live-in, college-age niece following in her aunt’s lesbian footsteps.

Then there’s Logan, the MC at Dionne’s open-mic events, who has her own crew: the forever funny Beverly, rowdy realtor Logan, and conflicted Sonja torn between two women.

And finally, Lena, a Virginia teen taken in by her aunt, Vanessa, after her father and grandmother pass away. Her older cousins, Gabby and Mercedes, show her the ropes as sorority girls and help her acclimate to Middle Georgia life.

In the center of all these connections are Jazmine and Karen, life partners and owners of Jazzy Ladies Productions, a local lesbian entertainment company. They host the open mic nights that Dionne performs at, that Logan hosts, and that bring all the ladies (and Vincent) together in love, sex and friendship. But Karen and Jaz – with pasts to run from – also have more sinister links to one character in particular.

Can you guess which one?

At 576 pages, Simpson’s Jazzy Ladies Productions is a big but pleasurable read. The pages fly by as you get into each plot, and you’ll want to see how all the ends tie together.

Simpson, as always, captivates.

Reviewed June 2012

Accept the Unexpected by L. Cherelle

Publisher/Date:  Resolute Publishing, May 2011
Genre:  Romance
Pages:  216
Website:  http://www.respublishing.com

Rating: ★★★★½ 

I wish more black lesbian relationships operated with the reality found between the covers of ACCEPT THE UNEXPECTED.

The truth may have come at the wrong time, but the sentiment was not lost on Keleya Smith.

Author L. Cherelle’s debut novel skillfully portrays the fallout from Keleya’s failed relationship as she slowly nurtures a new one.

Keleya and Kris were in a long-term relationship when Keleya asks Kris to leave their home after discovering some incriminating texts. She’s devastated to lose her lover of four years, yet has plenty to occupy her time. Her job, hobbies, and most especially, her colorful family and friends keep her mind off Kris.

Then another distraction comes in the form of Jordan, whom she’s set up with by a mutual friend. The brown-skinned, handsome stud’s looks and personality entice Keleya, but she wisely gets to know Jordan little by little, instead of instantly hopping into bed. She enjoys Jordan’s laid-back demeanor and wants to be sure before giving her body and her heart away again.

It’s uncomplicated with Jordan – getting over Kris is not. Keleya can admit to herself that there’s still some baggage left with her old flame, and she’s trying hard not to entangle Jordan in the healing of her old wounds. Can her heart make room for Jordan?

Moving on from a long-time love and starting something new is neither simple, nor painless. But L. Cherelle builds a character that reveals her baggage, accepts the way things are, and gets to know herself at the same time. I also admired Keleya’s dedication to her family and friends, who pluck her last nerves. Keleya is a great character, and L. Cherelle does a great job with the entire Unexpected cast.

The ending, though obvious, was deeply satisfying. The honesty rang true.

Like I said, I wish more black lesbians would do the same.

Reviewed January 2012

Making Our Difference by Ericka K. F. Simpson

Publisher/Date:  EKS Books, Dec. 2009
Genre(s):  Romance, Family, Marriage
Pages:  184
Website:  http://www.ekfsimpson.com

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Monogamy isn’t easy. MAKING OUR DIFFERENCE, by Ericka K. F. Simpson, does it brilliantly.

In her third novel and the sequel to In Fear of Losing You, four lesbian couples deal with the ups and downs of monogamy and marriage, illness and faith, and parenthood. The women, united in genuine friendship, are bonded as family also because of the way the world perceives their sexuality.

If you remember Sweets from In Fear, she was the optimistic romantic. Now in new relationship with Janet, a single mother, she has the love she longed for. But as they get closer, Janet struggles with her sexuality while Sweets is left waiting for the woman of her dreams. Will Janet ultimately see that Sweets is the one?

Kat, a reformed player, has settled down with Cheyenne and made a success of her company, The Whole of Delaware. As she builds the 24-hour sports and activities center into a franchise, can she and Cheyenne truly have it all?

Happiness has shed its graces on Lex and wife Ayanna, their life almost perfect with one child and a new baby on the way, until Lex is diagnosed with cancer. Is their love strong enough to carry them through this rough time, especially with Lex’s family in opposition to their marriage?

Lastly, Genius and Ciara had a playful connection before, and are trying to make it exclusive. Will Genius trust her heart to Ciara, who’s been with several before (including Kat)?

Simpson weaves an excellent yarn in Making Our Difference with a well-drawn cast. God plays a big role in their lives, as well, an aspect that blends nicely (not doggedly) with the plot. The alternative ending is also great touch. The only negative in Difference is the excessive clothing descriptions.

That being said, Simpson nails the characters, and that makes all the difference.

Reviewed February 2011

Girls Just Don’t Do That by Natalie Simone (June 2009 Pick of the Month)

Publisher/Date:  Bookshelf Global Publishing, Sept. 2005
Genre(s):  College Life, Romance, Studs & Femmes
Pages:  230
Website:  http://www.nataliesimone.com

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Few understand the ordeals black lesbians go through in relationships, but Natalie Simone has compellingly portrayed what we feel in her debut novel, GIRLS JUST DON’T DO THAT.

Through the eyes of several main characters, the tale of six college women at the University of Georgia takes on several types of relationship woes.

First is Delia, a pretty tomboy type with a seemingly shy demeanor and thoughtful personality. She is the loner type, preferring to have a small circle of friends. Though her strikingly good looks could pull any woman on campus, Delia doesn’t play games with women’s hearts. So why she becomes involved with Jayne, her old high school nemesis, is beyond comprehension.

Jayne is the complete opposite of Delia. She’s a sorority-girl type, an arrogant, gorgeous beauty who was once overweight and made life miserable for Delia back in the day. Jayne’s homophobic behavior toward Delia pitted them against each other, but when they are now paired up on a class project, Delia lets go of the past and sees Jayne for the dime she’s turned into. She can’t help but become enraptured by Jayne’s charm, and they begin a one-sided relationship, where Jayne reaps all the pleasurable benefits. Delia knows she’s being played, but can’t free herself from Jayne’s cunning spell.

And while Delia is being used, her best friend Shavonne is being abused by her girlfriend, Tracy. She lives on eggshells night after night, not knowing what mood could set Tracy off on a rampage, especially when Tracy comes home drunk. In Shavonne’s eyes, it was all so good in the beginning, as in most abusive relationships. As the disrespect worsens every day, Shavonne felt she couldn’t tell anyone what was happening because “girls just don’t do that.” Who would believe that a woman could beat another woman? One thing Shavonne does know is that she has to get out – one way or another.

If someone had asked Stacy three months ago would she ever be attracted to a woman, the answer would have been no. Yet somehow Stacy – an aspiring lawyer from a well-to-do family – spots Kendal and is infatuated with what she thinks is a handsome dude. When she discovers Kendal’s a woman, Stacy can’t help being turned on by her feminine/masculine appeal. Though she has a boyfriend, Stacy’s body betrays her head when she’s around Kendal. Now Stacey has to decide whether to leave her two-year relationship headed toward a white-picket future, or be with the woman who completes her emotionally and physically. Girls just don’t do that, remember?

Simone’s Girls Just Don’t Do That, written several years prior, still resonates with readers. You’ll be drawn into these women’s lives and inner turmoil as they decide what’s best for them to be happy. As an added bonus, Simone includes “Dyke Categories” at the end of the book, which describes several types of stud and femme black lesbian personas. I like the fact Simone not only has the potent gift of storytelling but can also impart knowledge, as well.

Simone has a new novel coming soon, one that follows the scandalous Jayne, a person who refuses to declare herself bisexual even after sleeping with several women. After reading Girls, that’s one I’ll definitely pick up.

Reviewed June 2009

Two and a Possible by Dahni McPhail

Publisher/Date:  Lulu, March 2008
Genre: Romance
Pages:  178
Website:  http://www.dahnimcphail.com

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Love military style is the order of TWO AND A POSSIBLE, the debut novel by Dahni McPhail, who writes a sensitive, insightful story of a black lesbian in the Army.

With the main character of the same name as the author, the life of a private is shown in great detail as she falls in love for the first time against the backdrop of basic training. Dahni leaves home for the first time at 18, headed for an army base with dreams of glory. Drawn to the structure and professionalism of the military, she immediately aspires to climb the ranks as an officer.

That is until Dahni meets her own drill sergeant of pain, Sergeant First Class Jones aka the Jackal. After that, her life is never the same. The Jackal puts Dahni through her paces, torturing her and her fellow privates – christened the Kru – who soon become her sisters-in-crime. Jones gives them hell every single day, and Dahni will never forget the merciless woman.

While being tormented, Dahni manages to have a love life – as much as you can have in the military with “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” laws. After surmising her inexperience, Private Sealyn Scott teases Dahni unmercifully with questions. Their flirtation takes a new level when they celebrate graduating basic training; she savors the sweet taste of a woman, but it leaves her confused about what it means about herself and her sexuality. She can’t be attracted to women…can she?

Not helping matters is the fact that she may never see Sealyn again. After being transferred to Germany, Dahni is on her own, with no friends or love in her life. She meets her firecracker roommate, MiMi, a Black-Korean beauty who gets her out of her shell and out of the closet. MiMi shows her that she can love a woman without being scared. It goes effortlessly until Sealyn reappears. Whom will she choose: her first love or her new one?

McPhail has a masterpiece on her hands with Two and a Possible. It combines a love story with a subject she knows well, as she served in the armed forces herself. It’s so finely portrayed you feel like you’re there. The drama is engaging, without being too scandalous. McPhail is definitely a writer to watch, and one I’ll make room for on my shelf.

Reviewed February 2009

How Can An Angel Take My Heart: The Positive Side of Temptation by Regina Knox

Publisher/Date:  1st Books Library, Mar. 2002
Genre(s):  Religious, Romance
Pages:  388
Website:  http://www.reginaknox.com

Rating: ★★★★½ 

God works in his own time, and lovers Angela Lord and Kennedy Brooks face this complexity as they wrestle with their loyalties to Him in HOW CAN AN ANGEL TAKE MY HEART: THE POSITIVE SIDE OF TEMPTATION. The debut novel from Regina Knox chronicles the struggle between religion and homosexuality as Angela and Kennedy fall deeper in love, but at a price that almost cost their souls.

Angela and Kennedy’s chance meeting is at a time when they both need something more. Angela, a single mother of two, found herself in a dead-end relationship with a stud she’s not in love with. Kennedy is a highly successful businesswoman with several companies under her belt who doesn’t want for anything – until she encounters Angela on a business trip. The feminine ladies have an immediate attraction, and pretty soon Kennedy’s boyfriend, Robert, and Angela’s live-in lover, Tonya, are forgotten.

Yet there’s more to their connection than simply falling in love, as Angela and Kennedy soon discover. While Angela had previously come to terms with her sexuality, being with a woman was all new for Kennedy. Not only is it a shock herself, but to her parents – her father’s a preacher – and Robert, who had planned to propose to Kennedy upon her return. Everyone weighs their opinions and reminds her of what the Bible speaks of: that homosexuality is an abomination. And armed with everyone’s beliefs, Kennedy is torn between what’s right and what’s in her heart.

Angela has her own crosses to bear, namely a sinister ex-husband attempting to take her kids because of her lesbian status. Though not very religious, Angela is fighting her own demons about whether their relationship would please the Lord. It leads her to church, finding solace in singing the Lord’s praises and doing what believes will make Him happy.

Eventually, it doesn’t sit well with Angela or Kennedy that they may be compromising their spirituality, and the lovers have to figure out whether being with the one you love and giving in to temptation is what God truly intended.

In Angel, Knox writes an extremely sensitive portrayal of what a lesbian endures when confronting both her sexuality and religion. Black lesbians especially receive more grief when it comes to being gay, and hear more religious rhetoric that only confounds the issue. It’s great that Knox has put that struggle in a book that is honest and heart-wrenching.

With the sequel to Angel to be published this fall, I would love to see where she takes Angela and Kennedy next.

Reviewed October 2008